Letting Go...?
Aug. 19th, 2008 07:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thisearthlyrideIt amazes me the attitude people can cop- especially when they are in the wrong. Even more amazing to me are the people who come to their defense.
Saying "I am sorry" means nothing if you can't say *what* you are sorry for. It just comes off sounding like a general "Oops. My bad," without taking any real responsibility. You need to really own up; specifically name the wrongs you have done, apologize for each in a sincere way and do something concrete to change what had caused the problem to arise in the first place.
I'm not saying I am perfect. Hell, we all have our faults and we've all done some nasty things (whether intentional or not). But I've really tried to take a good hard look at the things I may have done- the people I may have offended- and done my best to make things right. You can't fix the damage that has been done, but you *can* choose to do your best to make amends and move towards a true healing.
I am, of course, referring to the HRC.
There is still a lot of anger over the HRC boldly lying to the trans community- and rightly so! Some claim that the HRC has apologized and that we should let it go. I don't recall an apology. Not a real apology- the kind of thing that says "Wow, we really threw you under the bus and that was wrong," in a just as public and loud way as the HRC proclaimed to be championing trans rights.
What we got was a, "I am sorry for misspeaking." Exactly how did Joe Solmonese misspeak when he stood at the podium of the Southern Comfort conference to say:
We try to walk a thin line in terms of keeping everything in play and making sure that we move forward. But always being clear that we absolutely do not support- and in fact oppose- any legislation that is not absolutely inclusive. And we have sent that message loud and clear to the hill.
Well forgive me for not believing your apology.
There is discussion about whether or not the trans community is weaker because of their rejection of the HRC. Some seem to be suggesting that we have a snuggle fest, proclaim HRC good as new and just move along. But these people aren't looking at the bigger picture.
Aside from ENDA, one of my major beefs with the HRC is the same beef I have with places like WalMart, etc. HRC comes into communities, sucks the money out from the locals, then distributes the money however they see fit. Local non-profits and grassroots activism organizations are left floundering with fewer resources.
Those who say we are weakening our community by not forgiving and working with the HRC are missing this point. They are missing that the HRC gives a paltry amount in grants to local organizations each year when compared to the amount of money they are bringing in.
The money trail is easy to find. HRC is required to file Form 990s which are public tax records. You can also take a peek at how much money HRC had to work with during the 2007 fiscal year:
http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=6229
or
http://www.guidestar.org/pqShowGsReport.do?partner=grantexplorer&npoId=476613
(This link is particularly interesting, since it shows the HRC's objectives for the 2007 year and includes all 990 forms)
So let me see if I've got this right: HRC woos the transgender community to secure more donations, actively throws trans people under the bus, sucks all the money from local grassroots organizations, then gives money to local organizations of their choosing and claims victory when the local organization is successful in their venture.
Yeah. We sure are hurting ourselves.
Before I will ever listen to someone (whether they be part of the trans community or not) advocate that we "move forward" and "bridge the divide," I will wait for a real apology and a little action to back it up.
Saying "I am sorry" means nothing if you can't say *what* you are sorry for. It just comes off sounding like a general "Oops. My bad," without taking any real responsibility. You need to really own up; specifically name the wrongs you have done, apologize for each in a sincere way and do something concrete to change what had caused the problem to arise in the first place.
I'm not saying I am perfect. Hell, we all have our faults and we've all done some nasty things (whether intentional or not). But I've really tried to take a good hard look at the things I may have done- the people I may have offended- and done my best to make things right. You can't fix the damage that has been done, but you *can* choose to do your best to make amends and move towards a true healing.
I am, of course, referring to the HRC.
There is still a lot of anger over the HRC boldly lying to the trans community- and rightly so! Some claim that the HRC has apologized and that we should let it go. I don't recall an apology. Not a real apology- the kind of thing that says "Wow, we really threw you under the bus and that was wrong," in a just as public and loud way as the HRC proclaimed to be championing trans rights.
What we got was a, "I am sorry for misspeaking." Exactly how did Joe Solmonese misspeak when he stood at the podium of the Southern Comfort conference to say:
We try to walk a thin line in terms of keeping everything in play and making sure that we move forward. But always being clear that we absolutely do not support- and in fact oppose- any legislation that is not absolutely inclusive. And we have sent that message loud and clear to the hill.
Well forgive me for not believing your apology.
There is discussion about whether or not the trans community is weaker because of their rejection of the HRC. Some seem to be suggesting that we have a snuggle fest, proclaim HRC good as new and just move along. But these people aren't looking at the bigger picture.
Aside from ENDA, one of my major beefs with the HRC is the same beef I have with places like WalMart, etc. HRC comes into communities, sucks the money out from the locals, then distributes the money however they see fit. Local non-profits and grassroots activism organizations are left floundering with fewer resources.
Those who say we are weakening our community by not forgiving and working with the HRC are missing this point. They are missing that the HRC gives a paltry amount in grants to local organizations each year when compared to the amount of money they are bringing in.
The money trail is easy to find. HRC is required to file Form 990s which are public tax records. You can also take a peek at how much money HRC had to work with during the 2007 fiscal year:
http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=6229
or
http://www.guidestar.org/pqShowGsReport.do?partner=grantexplorer&npoId=476613
(This link is particularly interesting, since it shows the HRC's objectives for the 2007 year and includes all 990 forms)
So let me see if I've got this right: HRC woos the transgender community to secure more donations, actively throws trans people under the bus, sucks all the money from local grassroots organizations, then gives money to local organizations of their choosing and claims victory when the local organization is successful in their venture.
Yeah. We sure are hurting ourselves.
Before I will ever listen to someone (whether they be part of the trans community or not) advocate that we "move forward" and "bridge the divide," I will wait for a real apology and a little action to back it up.
