New Years Thoughts...
Jan. 7th, 2005 04:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thisearthlyrideEdited to just the good ones :)
16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN by Dave Barry
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be
"meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment.
8. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,
we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
9. A person who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice
person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
10. Your friends love you anyway.
11. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN by Dave Barry
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be
"meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment.
8. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,
we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
9. A person who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice
person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
10. Your friends love you anyway.
11. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
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no subject
Date: 2005-01-07 09:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-10 11:12 pm (UTC)Ok, well...
Date: 2005-01-12 03:34 am (UTC)